The Etiquette of Seclusion

Image via CrunchBase

People forget themselves on social media. Sometimes the best that you can do is to just get away.
My current office at work is in a back corner, near the newspaper archives. At one time, it was right off the main thoroughfare of our ‘behind the scenes’ work area. I was rarely able to get much work done, because someone was always having a chat about their favorite book, or talking over the cubicle barrier to me about their holiday plans, etc. So when the opportunity for me to move to a new office came, I jumped on the one in the ‘way back’. Now, far from the excess noise and distraction, and with a very polite and quiet neighbor, I’m able to concentrate for prolonged periods of time, with no interruptions. When I get curious about what’s going on, I walk out to the busy parts and visit. Then, I can go back.
Along the same lines, sometimes it becomes apparent just how deeply immersed I am in social media. I begin to feel inundated with other’s thoughts, photos and lives. I am so grateful for the contact that social media has allowed me to maintain, especially with family and friends who live far away. Yet, occasionally, I see the breakdown of my own etiquette and it becomes evident that I need to step away.
A few months ago, I had one of these etiquette breakdowns, and while I’m still a bit ashamed of myself, the end result was a realization that can be applied to social media and real life.
During the heat of the pre-election madness, a ‘friend’ on Facebook posted something that filled me with fury. I don’t wear my politics on my sleeve, however I do occasionally try to present an alternative point of view. It’s hard for me to shut-up when folks are being just plain ridiculous.
My mistake was thinking that any comments on my part would do anything but add fuel to an already out of control fire. Several hours and some pretty interesting commentary later, I realized that I had probably cemented my ‘friend’s’ opinion of me in the negative. I wrote a prolonged letter of apology and explanation, hoping to minimize the damages and try to stave off any further burns, but when I received no reply, it became evident that the damage was done.
I was sharing this unfortunate occurrence with another pal who had had similar issues with a ‘friend’ on his own wall. He suggested that before I go berserk over someone’s apparent idiocy, I take a step back and readjust their settings on my newsfeed. ‘Seclude yourself,’ he said. ‘You won’t read the crap, but will still get to see pictures of the kids.’ Super idea.
Now, when the urge arises to growl, bark and snap at ‘friends’ on social media who seem to have lost their common sense, I step back, look at their settings and adjust away.
Keep in mind, that it is also good to do a calculus of my own posts, now and again. Is what we put out there uplifting? Is it close-minded or hate-filled? Are we posting a whole lot of everything, every thirty seconds?
I try to be thoughtful about what I post as well as how I respond. It keeps everyone happier, and it’s a good habit for real life too.
In real life, however, you still stand the risk of getting a chewing out, if you’re being a nitwit and since there aren’t adjustments one can make in actual social gatherings, my hope is that we will all try to maintain a certain level of manners and politeness.
At least until I go back to my office.

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