Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Rumor Control

There are some things I need to address. I’m not crazy, at least not in the standard scientific definition, but I am just a tad odd. I’ll agree to that fully, and with no help from my peers.
Here are some explanations, that may help (if needed) to describe my oddness.

Eric Idle
Cover of Eric Idle
Two of ME?
To quote Eric Idle, ‘There is only me, sir.’ Growing up I spent an inordinate amount of time alone. I learned to keep myself company, and occupied. On the weekends, my step-brothers were around, and things were hectic. During the week, I was left to my own defenses, which, slap in the middle of rural PA as we were, I had lots of fun being me. I still do.
Compile this with the fact that I have an extremely odd sense of humor, and you might get that I’ve developed another personality. The fact is, however, much less scary.
It’s just that, from my point of view, I sometimes giggle at things that only I understand and possibly get. So, it is rather like I have inside jokes with myself, I guess, but- well, excluding that part of my mind that is The Rogue DJ, there is only me.

Who IS Bob, Anyway?
There are two Bob’s in my life. One is my trusty Brother-In-Law; the other is my pet skull.
I borrowed Bob from some acquaintances a few years back for a Halloween display. It turns out that Bob has a head for library work (ahem!) So, as I changed offices Bob always came along.
Bob is currently working on his memoirs, and takes calls and other menial but essential tasks for me throughout the day. He’s a great brainstormer, and helps me with my programming ideas and sometimes is rather quick with those tricky lexical gaps.
Robert H. “Bob" Yorick is always at work. If you come by say hello.

English: Young bank voles (Clethrionomys glare...
English: Young bank voles (Clethrionomys glareolus) in their nest. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The Giant Mole/Vole
Yes, we’ve been doing some excavation in our back yard for the pool. So, after a day of delving, our pool workers discovered a small foundation. It was easily removed, and leveling and the other pre-pool necessities went on as usual.
When I returned home, I went out to the backyard to return some tools to my shed, and admire the diggings. The huge excavation was covered in a large black tarp, and held down in places with the bits of old cinder block  that had formerly made up the well house or fish pond.
As I was looking on, a large bump appeared at one end and rapidly made progress under the tarp from one side to the other.
Please keep in mind that I am a Monster Fan, and that I’ve desensitized myself with countless Monster Movies. However, that bump running around under my pool guy’s tarp scared me. I admit it freely. My mind raced as I tried to figure out of it was a cat or a neighbor dog or a rather large and ferocious rodent of some kind.
After the moment of cold-sweated panic passed, and I realized that rather than an animal or mutant of some kind, it was rather, the wind, I began to chuckle at myself (see above section, for questions of duality) and breathed a patient, if not an altogether brave sigh of relief and went inside.
Later, as we were bringing our doggies for walkies, Micki complained that some creature had dug up her stone flower pots at the end of our front walk. “Darned voles” she said.
Well, I said there’s a giant mole in the backyard under the tarp. “Vole”, she said.
Rodents is rodents. Even the giant ones.
Funny, I still get the heeby-jeebies just thinking about a big rodent.
Maybe it was the blog post I read by my friend Rich Powell, with the ‘giant woodchucks... big as rhinos’. Maybe. For more of Gill McFinn and his huge woodchucks, see here.

See? I’m not that weird? Right? RIGHT?

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