On the first day of April, last year, I began writing a weekly essay. A year later, I can honestly say I am pretty happy with the output. I missed a few weeks for holidays or family events, but I wrote 46 total blogs or posts or articles or essays during that time.
When I picked this work back up, I set out to write about things that interested me: observations, opinions, concerns and a few hopefully upbeat holiday histories. I have accomplished that. I have also written about family, values, philosophy, history, culture, books, walking, music, politics and religion. I have no doubt that I have sometimes been pedantic, preachy, even pushy about some topics. Others I could have sourced more clearly or been less editorial or at least found a better way to convey my thoughts.
When I wrote a regular piece in our local paper on all things library, I was held to high standards both by the paper's editor and the library director who had the final say on content. In all that time he only ever told me to “can” an article twice. I have no such controls now. The only standards I have to meet are those that govern my own feelings about style or appropriate tone. I have no word limit, no overarching theme or genre and there is no one tapping their foot with folded arms scowling at me for rude or inconsiderate opinions.
I wrote that short library column every two weeks for almost five years; to date it is the only experience I have as a “professional” writer or columnist. In that time, I racked up a large catalog of articles, too, far more columns than this blog and yet I am prouder of this work, perhaps because it feels less work-related. I gained some experience during that period of writing for work and developed whatever the equivalent of muscle memory is for a writer. I think it was enough practical application to feel comfortable getting back into the process again without having to relearn the skill completely.
For all that, as a “blogger” it feels weird for me to have churned out 46 essays and it is surreal to know that some of my readers are actually engaged in what I write even though it isn't printed in a newspaper. At least one of my current readers also read my library column, so I can quietly boast that I brought a reader along to this more open format.
As far as quality, though, I will admit that each of these essays could be better. I am my own worst critic, of course, but there is room to improve. Genetic aspects of my writing are continually obvious and they push me to work harder to rectify them. I am setting more pronounced goals since regular writing doesn't resolve the pesky bad habits. One of the areas where I need to improve is difficulty choosing topics. This is a problem that happens before the essay is ever read and is mainly a compositional challenge. Another issue I have is being somewhat redundant when attempting to be emphatic.
With regard to subject matter, surprisingly, I don't always know what I'm going to write about until it clicks while I am freeform drafting. I start a handful of lines on something and I can usually tell early on if it is a topic that won't make the cut. In other cases I have drafted entire essays that simply get displaced by another topic that arises in the meantime. There's no science behind it. I am always on the lookout for a subject that I want to write and that you hopefully will wish to read.
For every essay I write and share, there are five or so false starts or partially completed drafts that are, for whatever reason, not what I choose to write about that week. Sometimes I go back to them for a future post but mostly I don't. I'm afraid that means that there are reams of ‘proto’ thesis statements in my documents folder that may never be seen.
I also have pet topics that are too in-depth or that I cannot find a good approach for within my current essay format. Some are too long for an essay, others maybe ought to be multi-part essays with a few “to be continueds” between them. I haven't yet invested the mental energy to decide if this is a once-a-year series or if I want to write them somewhere else and in some other format. Among these is an essay about my great-grandfather's sad tale and another about the disproportionality between miscarriages of justice like wrongful convictions when compared to how often wealthy (and obviously criminal) celebrities or politicians get off free or are able to afford to appeal and delay or defer their legal consequences.
I desperately want to write a scathing critique of homeopathy and of other businesses that prey on the credulous and desperate. I have a drafted essay about baseball, one about Stephen King's most important novel and another that is an exploration of crime and abuse within old order Amish settlements. All of these or some of these and more will be forthcoming at some point once I have hammered them into shape a bit more.
Whatever my topics, there are some technical things in my format that I wish to address in the coming year. It's time to pare down my average essay length; they do drag on a bit. One might say they ramble. It would be helpful, too, if I could clear up the cliched phrases. These things take time and I appreciate you hanging in there with me while I keep adjusting.
When I have written and posted an essay, I am very nearly already working on the next. As I told my father recently, whatever I wrote about previously has long since vacated my brain when I post and email the current one. By then, I had read it many times both hoping to mold it into some kind of readable shape and combed through it tirelessly looking for typos and other errors. Ironically, no matter how many times I scan one of my pieces, I never can seem to find all the mess ups and so each essay likely has technical idiosyncrasies. I am working on that too.
For this particular essay, writing about writing is actually a bit of a cheat, especially as it tends to inadvertently vent the steam I have built up in other posts by showing the proverbial man behind the curtain. It also has the great misfortune of making my writing feel egotistical, as in, “let's talk about me, my writing and my squalid attempts to get more attention”. Nothing of the sort. I write because I need the outlet and because I enjoy the process immensely. I write about my writing to share where I am in the process with my readers. If that's egotistical, then I cannot avoid the title.
However it comes across—wordy, repetitive, opinionated or hamfisted—I am writing hoping that I become a better writer. The regular exercise of the writer's mental muscles makes me think and write better in much the same way that the regular and sustained practice of a musical instrument can build skill and proficiency onto raw talent.
I intend to keep on working and churning out content. It may not always be very good and maybe not always what you want to read and I might not get one out every week, though that is the structure that I feel most comfortable within, it will, I hope, continue to challenge both of us.
If I had one guiding code for why I write perhaps it is because I want to challenge myself and also my readers. My hope is, together, we begin to think of the world in new ways by breaking down the barriers to our closed minds whether it is about religion, politics, superstition or any other kind of ideology that prevents us from enjoying the freedom to think for ourselves. It won't be every essay, but I would say that this idea of freeing ourselves from the poisonous ideas and affiliations in our modern life is the most central topic I want to address. My own insatiable curiosity about the world does come through in my work and I want to ask those questions with you. The fetters to free thinking can only be taken down by sharing stories from the past or explaining ideas that are complex or forgotten or by digging more deeply into the crust of why we think and believe the way we do. Challenging the stories we hold strongly but without thinking about them is the only way we can be truly free.
For now, though, I really want to thank you sincerely for reading. Even if you don't read every week, thanks for subscribing. Your eyes and brains are the canvas on which I paint my topics, so you are an essential part of this conversation.
If there's a topic you want me to try to tackle, shoot me an email and I will work on it. More in the coming weeks for sure! Thank you again!
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