“Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.”
-Winston Churchill
“It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.”
-Hank Aaron
I am not a golfer. There is something to be said, however, for those that can carry that title around with them, and say proudly, when the appropriate time arises, “I am a golfer.”
This past weekend my wife’s aunt and uncle made a three day stop-over at our house on their way back to Minnesota. They are both avid golfers, spending many days on their local courses during the seasonable times of year.
Two years ago, they came through just before Independence Day, on their way back from the warmer Florida climes, and brought me and our middle son golfing at our local ‘ritzy’ course.
I was looking forward to it, even though I wasn’t looking forward to how I would play. Sometimes it’s fun just to hang out and try and be a good sport.
I told myself after that visit, that I would go more frequently to our municipal ‘cheap’ nine hole course, and practice up. Get good enough to be slightly competitive the next time around.
Two years goes by fast. So when it came time for me to ‘suit up’ in my collared shirt and doff my duffer hat, and head out to the links, I was even less practiced then the previous time. I swallowed down any reservations that I had, grabbed a spare set of clubs from our collection and went to face my fears.
You see, I don’t have a lot of athletic skill to depend on at these times. My grandfather was an avid golfer. He had some skill, too with a bowling ball. He used to play baseball as well. All I got from him was the ability to throw and catch a baseball (I couldn’t run the bases very well, and I have trouble connecting with the ball at the plate). I did play soccer, but that was much different, and since I grew up with step-brothers who played, I got a lot of practice, and many sore shins.
I still have PopPop’s clubs and golf shoes, although they hold only a memorial place in my shop, and I wouldn’t dream of taking them out on the course for anything. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything happened to them.
So standing there at the first tee, waiting for the group in front of us to finish up on the green, I tried to list the points of a good golf swing: head down, hips move in figure eight during the swing, don’t smash the ball, breathe and so on. And then I was standing there taking a few practice swings. My turn. My mind raced, I tried to remember how to stand, I tried to ‘sight in’ my ideal ball placement on the fairway. I took my swing.
Well, needless to say, I topped the ball, and it rolled lightly onto the lady's tee.
Luckily my wife’s aunt is a wonderfully patient and encouraging person. While uncle and nephew made their way to the lead with the fewest points, all the while being good sportsmen and speaking encouragingly to me; I chopped, woofed and whiffed at the ball as best I could. Always she gave me compliments, suggestions and helped me keep my head up, that is to say, down.
We discovered fairly early that I was strong on the ‘short game’. I can putt, and I can get the ball onto the green. My partner has an amazing 'long game'. She can whack the ball and really set it up for a good lie. Soon we were at least treading along with some semblance of game play.
I had so much fun the whole time, and although our team 'lost' I learned some very valuable lessons. Even the most practiced golfers make bad hits occasionally. Even the worst golfers can make a great shot now and again. And that seems to be the point. Those good shots feel so good you want them to happen again and again. Most importantly I learned that no matter how good your are, you earn the label of golfer one way or the other. No one ever steps to the tee and is able to play. It takes work and practice.
This summer, I will take the boys to the golf course and we will play more. I’ll work on my swing in the meantime, and maybe read up on my ‘Golf for Dummies’ book.
It was fun, and though I cannot yet claim to be a golfer, I look forward fondly to the time when I can.
I also look forward to impressing my wife’s aunt and uncle and everyone else, the next time we hit the links.
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