For years our days were devoted to work and our growing boys. Baseball, band and other school functions kept us on the go all week every week and on many weekends too. Our middle son played on travel baseball teams, so our weekends were spent in other towns throughout North Carolina rooting for him and his teammates.
On the rare days and evenings that we had ‘free time’, cleaning or lawn-mowing or getting caught up on laundry and shopping became our primary endeavors. We didn’t have a lot of time to make friends, or to maintain the few friendships that we had. Our schedules orbited around the full schedules of our boys, and if adult friends wanted to hang out, they often found it to be difficult logistically to meet up with us when we were free to be up for some ‘grown-up time’.
In those days, too, we lived on the ‘outskirts’ of town. We could walk to a restaurant, or to the baseball diamonds that were basically in our backyard, but otherwise we had to hop in the car to go anywhere else.
When it became necessary to move to a bigger house, it was hard for all of us to leave that good home. The many special memories we created there along with the schedules and routines that had become so ingrained in us would be difficult to reproduce anywhere else.
Our new home, from the perspective we all shared at that time, had some nice perks however. One of the first things our youngest and I did, upon ownership, was to walk to the Library, to see how long it would take to get there and back. Seven minutes at a good pace. And, little did I know then, that that would be a time I would seek to beat everyday, four times a day.
Soon, we noticed that the wine bar downtown was only a few short blocks away. Other attractions were opening left and right, all along our town’s main downtown street.
Concerts in the park on Sunday evenings, antique shops as far as the eye could see, and strangely enough- other adults!
Perhaps it is ironic that once we moved closer to downtown, we began to meet with like-minded people, who up until recently, had been heavily invested in their own children’s lives. Suddenly finding themselves freed up from the bustle of youth-filled houses, they began to seek out grown-up time of their own.
We are so excited to hang out with our friends and spend time with them that our schedules are just as full now as they were way-back-when. Only now, instead of driving around to baseball games and band practices, we are spending time downtown, or at each other’s homes, having dinner, creating more memories and in general having a ton of fun.
This is not to say that our lives no longer orbit around our boys’ lives; they still do. But as they’ve grown they’ve become less dependent on us for rides, less involved in school activities, and in general are responsible and capable young men. They are doing remarkably well in everything that they do. But, what really thrills me, is how much our grown-up friends welcome and love our boys. And we love our friends’ children as well. It’s an interesting development, and a thrilling one.
I’m so glad to be part of a community that is as nurturing, supportive and as fun as this one is.
I do miss the old house and I will always remember all of the great memories from when our boys were small. I even miss weekends at baseball parks. But I’m so glad things worked out the way they did. Our downtown community is awesome!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
What Rules Your Heart?
"The constitutions of most of our states (and of the United States) assert that all power is inherent in the people; that they may exercise it by themselves;
that it is their right and duty to be at all times armed; that they are entitled to freedom of person, freedom of religion, freedom of property and freedom
of the press." Thomas Jefferson
“...this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” Abraham Lincoln, from: The Gettysburg Address
I shared the quote from Jefferson on a Facebook post a few days ago, because it symbolized something to me that we often forget. We are ultimately responsible for the nature and bearing of our own laws. We tend to blame the ‘government’ for the things that happen that we aren’t happy about but we forget that that ‘government’ is made up of representatives that we’ve chosen, who represent our beliefs.
What rules your heart? When you stop for a few minutes and consider this question, you may be surprised what you find. Some of us might say that what rules our heart is our family. Our biggest decisions always weigh the needs of our children and our spouse, or our siblings and parents. Some may feel that faith is the leading criteria for important decisions, making choices thoughtfully with prayer and mediation. Some might find that it is solely personal desires, with no consideration for anyone else’s needs that drive them.
Regardless of these variations or the many other possible issues and causes that may guide us in our decisions, we can all stand to ask ourselves this question: “What rules my heart?”
I would not be able to stand very long for a society or a legal system that did not provide the rights and freedoms of my children as guaranteed. My children’s rights and freedoms are the same as every other law abiding citizen, aren’t they?
What if your spouse, or your brother or sister were suddenly not protected under the same laws as the rest of your family? Consider for just a moment how disillusioned you would be.
The coming North Carolina vote regarding Amendment 1, will do just that.
http://ballotpedia.org/wiki/index.php/North_Carolina_Same-Sex_Marriage,_Amendment_1_(May_2012)
Forget the arguments about whether you think that same-sex marriage is right or wrong, good or evil. That is not at issue, though some would try to cloud the facts with this approach.
I agree that we should always abide by our convictions. But we should never allow our convictions to threaten the rights and freedoms of others. If this amendment is passed, rights and freedoms as they are guaranteed by our constitution, will no longer be afforded to certain people, who just like you and I, are peace-loving and law-abiding. The motivation behind the amendment doesn’t matter. Only the end result.
If we can remove or change the rights of one group because of certain societal pressures, at what point does it end? It is, as my philosophy professors would say, a slippery slope.
It doesn’t matter what you do, where you live, how you worship, who you marry or why, or what rules your heart on a daily basis. I don’t mind, just as long as those things do not affect my family's right to do the same, peacefully, without interference from the government or any other group that would seek to limit our freedoms.
For the sake of peace, tolerance and an attempt to retain our heritage as a country proud of those rights and freedoms as they are provided and protected for us in our constitution, please think about it.
I won’t tell you how to vote. I will only ask that you consider the motivation behind your vote. Are your rights protected? Shouldn’t everyone’s rights be protected? What rules your heart?
that it is their right and duty to be at all times armed; that they are entitled to freedom of person, freedom of religion, freedom of property and freedom
of the press." Thomas Jefferson
“...this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” Abraham Lincoln, from: The Gettysburg Address
I shared the quote from Jefferson on a Facebook post a few days ago, because it symbolized something to me that we often forget. We are ultimately responsible for the nature and bearing of our own laws. We tend to blame the ‘government’ for the things that happen that we aren’t happy about but we forget that that ‘government’ is made up of representatives that we’ve chosen, who represent our beliefs.
What rules your heart? When you stop for a few minutes and consider this question, you may be surprised what you find. Some of us might say that what rules our heart is our family. Our biggest decisions always weigh the needs of our children and our spouse, or our siblings and parents. Some may feel that faith is the leading criteria for important decisions, making choices thoughtfully with prayer and mediation. Some might find that it is solely personal desires, with no consideration for anyone else’s needs that drive them.
Regardless of these variations or the many other possible issues and causes that may guide us in our decisions, we can all stand to ask ourselves this question: “What rules my heart?”
I would not be able to stand very long for a society or a legal system that did not provide the rights and freedoms of my children as guaranteed. My children’s rights and freedoms are the same as every other law abiding citizen, aren’t they?
What if your spouse, or your brother or sister were suddenly not protected under the same laws as the rest of your family? Consider for just a moment how disillusioned you would be.
The coming North Carolina vote regarding Amendment 1, will do just that.
http://ballotpedia.org/wiki/index.php/North_Carolina_Same-Sex_Marriage,_Amendment_1_(May_2012)
Forget the arguments about whether you think that same-sex marriage is right or wrong, good or evil. That is not at issue, though some would try to cloud the facts with this approach.
I agree that we should always abide by our convictions. But we should never allow our convictions to threaten the rights and freedoms of others. If this amendment is passed, rights and freedoms as they are guaranteed by our constitution, will no longer be afforded to certain people, who just like you and I, are peace-loving and law-abiding. The motivation behind the amendment doesn’t matter. Only the end result.
If we can remove or change the rights of one group because of certain societal pressures, at what point does it end? It is, as my philosophy professors would say, a slippery slope.
It doesn’t matter what you do, where you live, how you worship, who you marry or why, or what rules your heart on a daily basis. I don’t mind, just as long as those things do not affect my family's right to do the same, peacefully, without interference from the government or any other group that would seek to limit our freedoms.
For the sake of peace, tolerance and an attempt to retain our heritage as a country proud of those rights and freedoms as they are provided and protected for us in our constitution, please think about it.
I won’t tell you how to vote. I will only ask that you consider the motivation behind your vote. Are your rights protected? Shouldn’t everyone’s rights be protected? What rules your heart?
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Unrelated Thoughts
When my wife spread some bean seeds in our garden, we both expected some to take and others not to. We figured it would be hit or miss. They all took. Much like that, for the last few days I have had some seeds of ideas to write about for this week’s Ramble, but like the Runner Beans, well, they’ve all taken and are germinating. Therefore, this week’s Ramble will be a series of unrelated thoughts, once again.
On Neighbors.
It’s nice to have good neighbors. Someone you can count on in a pinch, but who also keeps to themselves as well. We have been blessed, on one side, with neighbors very much like this. They are always quick with a wave and a hello, or a quick chat. We help each other too. I recently had to climb a ladder for them, since health issues made that difficult. And they let us borrow their big tiller, for our garden. It’s nice to see them out working in their garden and yard, while we are doing the same. We are sure to bring them some fresh baked goodies at holidays, and they always have goodies for us too. I’m glad to have them there, and when the tomatoes start coming, they’ll be getting some for sure.
On Courage.
I’m not a lover of conflict. I don’t like an argument, and I don’t like to accost people who have wronged me. However, sometimes it is necessary to confront someone about an issue, and when it is, I usually try to find some way out of having to do it.
I recognize, with the help of family and friends, however, that I have a kind of gift when it comes to dealing with people. My lovely wife always reminds me that our weaknesses are just our strengths overused.
In trying to apply that to my fear of conflict, I began to realize that I actually have the tools necessary to confront most situations, and keep it from becoming a conflict, and yet saying what needs to be said. I had an opportunity to apply this gift the other day, when I had to tell our other neighbor to stop mowing our lawn. I won’t go into details, but this is an ongoing issue that I finally had the courage to face, because I realized that I was equipped to deal with it. I’m not perfect, but I’m growing.
On Writing.
I want to be a good writer. It’s one of the things that I love to do. I still recognize my need to practice. This blog, and a few others that I keep up are excellent opportunities for me to get that practice in, and hopefully bring a little joy to someone else’s life.
A good friend of mine from my youth, who is a theologian and seminary professor asked in one of his blog’s if writing as he did, was doing anything at all. There is no way to be sure, but I’m not going to give up. Regardless if it’s read or not, this blog in some ways, is helpful for me to get my ideas in order. If that is all it accomplishes, then it’s worth it.
On Parenthood.
A good friend of ours left to begin again in another part of the country, so he could be closer to his child. I admit, I will miss him, but I also commend him for his devotion to his child. We seem to see less and less of this in our society.
Working in the school system for as long as I did, I got to see a bunch of examples of ‘what not to do’ if you’re a parent. It’s refreshing to see examples of ‘what to do’ out there as well. It’s not easy, but doing the right thing for your children often requires you putting them first. I hope people will look to his trend, and try to follow his example.
In the meantime, good luck, we will miss you, but we will keep in close contact with you.
On Comedy.
I love to laugh. Who doesn’t? I am so inspired by people who have the gift of comedy. I know that I can be a ‘funny’ person now and again, but there are some people in my life whose grasp of humor is perfect.
It reminds me of a joke.
An elephant walks into a room. Everyone pretends it’s not there.
I think that funny people find solace in their humor. Life is not any easier for a comedian. In fact, I believe that funny people are more sensitive to the hurts and tragedies of life. Their gift, however is to find the irony, or react with sarcasm or deal with it in a way that makes others laugh. I could never aspire to be an actual ‘stand-up comedian’, but I do so admire the art of the joke or the quick witted comeback. My wife, our boys, our friends and other members of our ‘group community’ all seem to be able in some way or another get people laughing. I think we gravitate to it. And we all always feel better after a good laugh. It’s nice to be in a group of funny people.
Well, the seeds are spread, and I hope that they will germinate for you too.
On Neighbors.
It’s nice to have good neighbors. Someone you can count on in a pinch, but who also keeps to themselves as well. We have been blessed, on one side, with neighbors very much like this. They are always quick with a wave and a hello, or a quick chat. We help each other too. I recently had to climb a ladder for them, since health issues made that difficult. And they let us borrow their big tiller, for our garden. It’s nice to see them out working in their garden and yard, while we are doing the same. We are sure to bring them some fresh baked goodies at holidays, and they always have goodies for us too. I’m glad to have them there, and when the tomatoes start coming, they’ll be getting some for sure.
On Courage.
I’m not a lover of conflict. I don’t like an argument, and I don’t like to accost people who have wronged me. However, sometimes it is necessary to confront someone about an issue, and when it is, I usually try to find some way out of having to do it.
I recognize, with the help of family and friends, however, that I have a kind of gift when it comes to dealing with people. My lovely wife always reminds me that our weaknesses are just our strengths overused.
In trying to apply that to my fear of conflict, I began to realize that I actually have the tools necessary to confront most situations, and keep it from becoming a conflict, and yet saying what needs to be said. I had an opportunity to apply this gift the other day, when I had to tell our other neighbor to stop mowing our lawn. I won’t go into details, but this is an ongoing issue that I finally had the courage to face, because I realized that I was equipped to deal with it. I’m not perfect, but I’m growing.
On Writing.
I want to be a good writer. It’s one of the things that I love to do. I still recognize my need to practice. This blog, and a few others that I keep up are excellent opportunities for me to get that practice in, and hopefully bring a little joy to someone else’s life.
A good friend of mine from my youth, who is a theologian and seminary professor asked in one of his blog’s if writing as he did, was doing anything at all. There is no way to be sure, but I’m not going to give up. Regardless if it’s read or not, this blog in some ways, is helpful for me to get my ideas in order. If that is all it accomplishes, then it’s worth it.
On Parenthood.
A good friend of ours left to begin again in another part of the country, so he could be closer to his child. I admit, I will miss him, but I also commend him for his devotion to his child. We seem to see less and less of this in our society.
Working in the school system for as long as I did, I got to see a bunch of examples of ‘what not to do’ if you’re a parent. It’s refreshing to see examples of ‘what to do’ out there as well. It’s not easy, but doing the right thing for your children often requires you putting them first. I hope people will look to his trend, and try to follow his example.
In the meantime, good luck, we will miss you, but we will keep in close contact with you.
On Comedy.
I love to laugh. Who doesn’t? I am so inspired by people who have the gift of comedy. I know that I can be a ‘funny’ person now and again, but there are some people in my life whose grasp of humor is perfect.
It reminds me of a joke.
An elephant walks into a room. Everyone pretends it’s not there.
I think that funny people find solace in their humor. Life is not any easier for a comedian. In fact, I believe that funny people are more sensitive to the hurts and tragedies of life. Their gift, however is to find the irony, or react with sarcasm or deal with it in a way that makes others laugh. I could never aspire to be an actual ‘stand-up comedian’, but I do so admire the art of the joke or the quick witted comeback. My wife, our boys, our friends and other members of our ‘group community’ all seem to be able in some way or another get people laughing. I think we gravitate to it. And we all always feel better after a good laugh. It’s nice to be in a group of funny people.
Well, the seeds are spread, and I hope that they will germinate for you too.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
A Part of the Solution: Politics and Me
[A rebel in your thoughts, ain’t gon make it halt
If you don't become an actor you'll never be a factor]
- Lupe Fiasco
I really never liked election years. The silly commercials, the debates and the posturing always seem distasteful to me. Everyone is talking about it more and more, though, and since it seems pertinent to say something about all this political activity, I will put my ‘two cents in’.
What I expect from this this upcoming election is some solid political discourse. Looking at the problems in our country, and coming up with a solution for them. Talking about ways to eliminate the budget crisis, making sure the school systems don’t have to cut essential educational programs due to financial problems and so on.
What I get is something rather like the ‘reality TV’ shows Americans seem to love. The silly banter, and the banal mudslinging is so ridiculously useless. None of it actually accomplishes anything except convincing certain Americans to vote for one or the other of the candidates.
The root of our problem is, as I see it, not thinking enough for ourselves in all of this.
I seem to recall a time when folks really took it very seriously when an election was coming up. They would read about the candidates, research their backgrounds and try to make their vote count for what they believed personally. Some people I think still do this, but they are the exception, and not the rule.
I admire this approach. It is the correct one. Politics can get ugly pretty fast, but if the voters know the facts, and they honestly believe in the person they are voting for, then the system is a good one, regardless of who ‘wins’.
Instead, we allow people like the talking heads on TV to tell us what to believe. We hear a few things from them that sounds like what we think we should believe, and that becomes our basis for voting for someone. The talking heads on TV only gum up the airwaves and peoples minds with political discord. I can’t think with all that noise.
I like the idea of American politics, the way it should be, but not what it is. Our history is full of examples of good political dialog. People coming together to solve issues that need to be addressed. No, they don’t always agree, and no it’s never very pretty. But that dialog seems to be gone.
We can’t even get the members of our two-party system to sit down long enough in the same room, to discuss the budget deficit that affects every last one of us, regardless of party affiliation.
Those people are voted for by ‘we the people’. We put them there, and ultimately that makes us responsible. Their inability to have dialog represents a much deeper issue. It shows us that inherently, we are the same as them. Regardless of the issues at hand, and there are many, we don’t put the right people in office, because we can’t stop the arguing amongst ourselves. We wind up choosing ‘the lesser of two evils’ instead of the ‘right one for the job’.
We vote for someone because they have the same religion, or because they are handsome or because they are Liberal.
We rarely vote for someone because they have skills and abilities that make them ideal for a position. I believe we don’t even know what those skills should be.
This election year, I will do more research. I will look at and think hard about the ‘right one for the job’, not the one with the best rhetoric.
I believe that there is a need to be more responsible, on my part, for who I vote for. I’m tired of being disgusted with politics. I’m ready to have some good dialog. I’m switching off the talking heads, not voting because of anyone else’s take, and making my own decision, based on my own research.
How about you?
If you don't become an actor you'll never be a factor]
- Lupe Fiasco
I really never liked election years. The silly commercials, the debates and the posturing always seem distasteful to me. Everyone is talking about it more and more, though, and since it seems pertinent to say something about all this political activity, I will put my ‘two cents in’.
What I expect from this this upcoming election is some solid political discourse. Looking at the problems in our country, and coming up with a solution for them. Talking about ways to eliminate the budget crisis, making sure the school systems don’t have to cut essential educational programs due to financial problems and so on.
What I get is something rather like the ‘reality TV’ shows Americans seem to love. The silly banter, and the banal mudslinging is so ridiculously useless. None of it actually accomplishes anything except convincing certain Americans to vote for one or the other of the candidates.
The root of our problem is, as I see it, not thinking enough for ourselves in all of this.
I seem to recall a time when folks really took it very seriously when an election was coming up. They would read about the candidates, research their backgrounds and try to make their vote count for what they believed personally. Some people I think still do this, but they are the exception, and not the rule.
I admire this approach. It is the correct one. Politics can get ugly pretty fast, but if the voters know the facts, and they honestly believe in the person they are voting for, then the system is a good one, regardless of who ‘wins’.
Instead, we allow people like the talking heads on TV to tell us what to believe. We hear a few things from them that sounds like what we think we should believe, and that becomes our basis for voting for someone. The talking heads on TV only gum up the airwaves and peoples minds with political discord. I can’t think with all that noise.
I like the idea of American politics, the way it should be, but not what it is. Our history is full of examples of good political dialog. People coming together to solve issues that need to be addressed. No, they don’t always agree, and no it’s never very pretty. But that dialog seems to be gone.
We can’t even get the members of our two-party system to sit down long enough in the same room, to discuss the budget deficit that affects every last one of us, regardless of party affiliation.
Those people are voted for by ‘we the people’. We put them there, and ultimately that makes us responsible. Their inability to have dialog represents a much deeper issue. It shows us that inherently, we are the same as them. Regardless of the issues at hand, and there are many, we don’t put the right people in office, because we can’t stop the arguing amongst ourselves. We wind up choosing ‘the lesser of two evils’ instead of the ‘right one for the job’.
We vote for someone because they have the same religion, or because they are handsome or because they are Liberal.
We rarely vote for someone because they have skills and abilities that make them ideal for a position. I believe we don’t even know what those skills should be.
This election year, I will do more research. I will look at and think hard about the ‘right one for the job’, not the one with the best rhetoric.
I believe that there is a need to be more responsible, on my part, for who I vote for. I’m tired of being disgusted with politics. I’m ready to have some good dialog. I’m switching off the talking heads, not voting because of anyone else’s take, and making my own decision, based on my own research.
How about you?
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